a reminder

[this is an email from Kuya Noy long time ago... "Sissy, reminder lang hope this will help." Hi Kuya Noy, i miss you... i miss your stories... wala na akong balita sa inyo ni Ate Dew!]


Dear Clara,

Men. There was a time that I dreaded this--talking to you about men.
Well,you couldn't really blame me. After all, I did have enough experiences
to prove that men were monstrous beasts out to rob damsels of their
innocence.
They'd woo and seduce their way into your heart, offer you the moon and the
stars, and vow to make life a walk in paradise for you--but once you'd
fallen for their sweet charm and even sweeter promises, they'd bare their
fangs and the monsters that they really were to start with.

I no longer think that men are like that. I now believe that men are jewels
in the rough, and God uses the love of a woman He has especially chosen to
polish them and make them truly shine.
But I also believe that God has already matched individual men and women
since the beginning of time. Even before you were born, God has already
predestined the man who will be perfect for you--perfect in His (not in
your) eyes.Because problems will surely arise if your idea of Mr. Right
does not correspond with God's will for you.

My dear Clara, beware, because this happens. Girls like you usually see
love through rose-colored lenses. Romance to you is a magical experience,
an enchanting journey to fantasyland. Well, it is also that. But you should
open your eyes to what goes beyond. Romance has this habit of fading away
at the first hint of trouble.

There is this story about a girl who bought a parrot from a petshop. She
returned the following day to complain that the parrot didn't talk. She was
told to buy a ladder because going up and down the steps could stimulate
the parrot to talk.

The next day, the girl again went back to the petshop, because her
parrot still didn't talk. She was advised to buy a swing, because swinging
to and from inside its cage could induce the bird to at least make a sound.
Still the parrot didn't talk. The girl was next made to buy a seesaw. But
this,too, didn't work. Finally, she returned to the petshop to report that
the parrot had died. "It never did talk?" the petshop owner inquired. "Well, it
did, " the girl replied. "Just before it dropped dead, it asked, 'Doesn't
that petshop sell food?'"

Yes, Clara, before you accept love from a man, be sure that he has what it
takes to feed that love. Don't be dazzled by the ladders and swings and
seesaws.
They will entertain you momentarily, but they will not sustain the love
that the two of you shall share.

Choose your man wisely and well, Clara. Don't go for just the cute - even
if that would mean cute grandchildren for me. Don't go for the one with the
flashy car and the even flashier smile, even if he would make you the envy of all
the girls in your corner of the world. Go beyond the physical. Scratch the
surface and see if the guy knows how to bleed. Find out if he's real. Discover the
core beneath the impressive exterior.

THE RULES
Here are some tips on the men you should avoid:
Those who accept your offer to split the bill when you go out on a date.
Don't listen to the feminist line that with women's liberation came the
right to pay for the food you eat on a date. By all means, waive that right. I mean, if
a guy can't pay for your food at the time when he's supposed to put his best
foot forward, how do you expect him to feed you when you're married?

Those who borrow money from you. You're much too young and precious to
devalue yourself down to the level of a sugar mama. Don't melt in front of those
cute, goo-goo eyes and those soft, wet lips trying to make you and your money
part ways. God meant woman to support man--but not financially. For in the
dynamics of man-woman relationships, man is meant to be the provider.

Those who prattle on and on about themselves to impress you, but don't
have an ear to listen to you talk about yourself. What is soft-skinned with a lot
of hot air? A balloon. That's what guys like that are. Remember, a balloon
bursts when there's too much air. And even if it doesn't burst, in time, the air
escapes and the balloon shrivels away.

Those who give you outrageously expensive gifts. Don't mistake the gesture
for the level of esteem with which he holds you--even if that may be so. It's
much safer to think that he looks at you as some kind of merchandise he needs to
invest on. Then, when he gets what he wants from you, he'll dump you and
find other merchandise to invest in.

Those who talk till eternity about their moms. If their mother is No. 1,
where will that put you? The story of quarreling in-laws is not only the stuff of
which comedies are made--it is also the source of an endless stream of
tears. Beware of the mama's boy! He may love you enough to get married, but when
he get tired of getting the heat from both sides - from you and from his
mom--guess who he can live without?

Those who tell you about the latest million they made. You can bet your
bottom peso that they love their millions more than they have the capacity to love
you. Also, they are the type who will compensate for their lack of time for you
with oodles and oodles of money.

Don't get me wrong. You can always go on a world tour with a lot of money
and I can go with you whenever your beloved cannot go with you because he's
busy with his latest business deal. But you can't hug money on a cold night, can
you?

Yes, Clara, there are a lot of things more important than money. Like
creating memories together, sharing a life, holding hands while walking barefoot in
the sand, just cuddling up in bed and allowing time to simply pass the two of
you by.

Now, here are the men you should hope will come into your life:
Those who invite you to dine in a simple but decent place, even though they
can afford the pricey ones. This means several things. One, the man is secure
with himself and doesn't feel the need to impress you to get into your good
graces.

Two, he is wise with money. He wants to share a meal with you, but he's not
the type to throw away hard-earned bucks for some fancy eats.

Those who want you to meet their family. This means that he's mighty proud
of you and looks at forever as a distinct possibility for the two of you. It
also means he has a stable family life. Besides, a guy who loves his family will
raise a good family of his own.

Those who talk to you about dreams for the two of you. This means he sees a
future with you in it. And his bouncing his dreams off you signifies his
sensitivity to your own dreams, as well as his desire to merge your
disparate dreams to make a life of together forever.

Those who ask and are genuinely interested about your family, your likes
and dislikes, what makes you laugh or cry, your fears and insecurities. This is
the kind of man who will want to bring out the best in you. He will willingly
allow God to use him in perfecting His plan for you and for the two of you.
You can also rest assured that a man like this has the potential for
healing the wounds of your past, and bringing you to the fullness of your gifts as
a child of God.

Those who pray and gladly go with you to Sunday prayer service. Because, my
dear Clara, a husband is not just provider and protector--he is also the
pastor of the home, the smallest unit of the Church. He should bring you and your
family closer to God, and bring God closer to you and your family.

Only with God at the center of your relationship as husband and wife and as
a family can you begin to hope for a life that is happy, peaceful and rich.

Ah, Clara, I can go on and on. When it comes to lessons in life, they are
best given not by those who succeeded on the first try, but by those who
miserably failed lots of times but have eventually proven victorious, rising
triumphantly from the ashes of defeat to claim the glory especially meant for them by
God.

In this context, I humbly submit, where else can you possibly find a better
teacher than-

Your loving Mom!