the seed that i planted

"It's not time yet to plant this seed."
"What did you say, N?"
"Ohh... you know the "seed". I said, this is not the right time to plant this "seed"."
"So, when is the right time?"
He understands what i was saying.
"hhhmmm the right time... with the right weather... when i know that i can nourish it... take care of it coz i don't want it to grow unhealthy. I want it to be so full of life."


It was not too long after that conversation and i planted the seed. I think i did my best to take care of it, to make it grow, to be full of life, and well-nourished. He is there. I am here. We never seen each other for 11years. What was i thinking that time? He's the one?! ohh.. I expected too much, i guess. Sometimes, i thought i was in love with the idea of LOVE. I don't know. For a short time... the truth is, i was affected.


Wind blew it really hard. Thunderstorm even made it worst. (i'm scared of thunderstorm) Lightning was a prop. Yes, the seed was hit by HURRICANE. It drooped on the ground. Day by day, i tried to pull it back together... hoping it will stand up and grow back... back to... to that soooo full of life. It was one-sided. I heard people who love & inspire me to let it go. "It's not worth of your time." The seed was exhausted... it withered... it died. Maybe sometimes i'm just imagining things... sometimes i thought there's a lil root there. but nah... it was just my mind tricking me. And even if it still has root there... i'll get a palakol and i will palakol that seed!


I don't have to blame myself. I don't have to tell myself, "I should've listen to my parents and my friends." I don't have to regret what i have lost. I have to be thankful that for once & for a short time that seed has dwelt in my heart. It made me happy. And, I know someday i will plant another seed... i didn't loose hope. I know i have a green thumb. *winks. That will be the seed that i will really take care... that he will take care... and it will grow old... with "us"... in God's mark moment it will come!


Hoooo... do u think i will plant narra, acasia, or ipil-ipil next time? What will be the next conversation if someone will ask me about the "seed" then?! hahaha....